"I’m going to puppet class."
"I didn’t know there were puppet classes."
"I didn’t either. Until I googled it."
These two were acting like complete teenagers. When I walked up, she was nuzzling her head against his shoulder. She giggled the entire time I talked with them, while he kept a big goofy grin on his face. And whenever I asked about their relationship, she clutched his arm, looked at him just like this, giggled, then said: “We’re not telling!”
Latrisha with a swift uppercut
"Billy where is your homework?"
"im sorry Ms. Klein my dog- *sees dog in the window make a throat cutting motion* -gone cat ate it”
why is underwear so expensive like wtf its a sheet of fabric that covers ur dinky doo
"hey bukowski no offense but why dont you take your shirt off in the pool"
"why do we run from the rain but soak in tubs full of water"
"aight take it easy man"
"mr. president why is ur hand on the launch nukes button"
“it’s a metaphor”
you are not fat
you have fat
you also have fingernails
you are not fingernail
if you were a flower
you’d be a damnnnndelion
reblog for easter